sirenspull_ooc | TL;DR relationship/CR meme

/touch

Nill has... slightly complicated feelings when it comes to Lisbeth. For the most part, Nill likes to think she's gotten away pretty well with not making people into "replacements" for the people she had in her own world, but she can't help but be reminded of Naoto (a sword-wielding badass and friend) despite not seeing her in any way, shape or form for almost four years. There isn't a great deal of resemblance, mind you-- just that they both have dark hair, both are fairly straight-forward and don't take anyone's shit, and both are fully capable of taking care of themselves. She also reminds her a little of Shikamaru, who was essentially the platonic love of Nill's life, which just makes her want to spend more time with her. Nill would be so happy to just sit quietly in a room with Lisbeth while Lisbeth smokes because she misses being able to do that like you wouldn't believe.

That said though, Nill would probably never tell Naoto some of the stuff she's told Lisbeth, and that may be because she doesn't hold Lisbeth as being close enough not to tell her things yet. She likes Lisbeth a lot, but Nill is also keeping her at a distance, because she's keeping everyone at a distance these days. At the same time though, she really wants to be friends with Lisbeth, and she's a little worried that if she finds out about her (so far minor) manipulation of Jesse that it'll ruin that. Not worried enough to actually stop, but still worried.

It's also a good possibility that she's telling her things because she reminds her a little of Shikamaru and because Nill misses him so much.

Wow this is really all over the place. OKAY THOSE FEELINGS ARE A LITTLE MORE THAN SLIGHTLY COMPLICATED.

hi there B)

Hey there Jake.

Okay, the first thing that you need to understand about Nill and her feelings about Jake is that pretty early on in their friendship she ended up being hopelessly envious of him because of his living situation. The little set up he had going with his buddies was probably the first thing to really resemble what she considered her home in a really long time, and despite kind of being sick and miserable at the time Nill was pretty pleased with staying there and leeching off of their happiness a little bit. If Yosuke hadn't shown up Nill would've been perfectly okay with just kind of... staying there... even if she would've been horribly embarrassed about it later.

So despite her being envious, Jake actually reminds Nill of a lot of the things she misses in life! And Nill really wants to try to make sure that Jake is okay and happy because of that. As a person she likes him a lot (he's very friendly and mostly upbeat!!), and she misses hanging out with people like him. And man, she hasn't gotten to sit and watch a movie with anyone in at least a year, even if it was to try to cheer him up that was pretty fun. She also knows way too well what it's like to have the people you really care about disappear, so she wants to keep an eye on him and try to make sure he's generally okay.

Nill bb

Nill loves Ino. Despite her better instincts, Nill has a bad habit of thinking others' thoughts for too long! It's a thing that happens, and it mostly happened with Shikamaru. Nill never met Ino before, but because of all the positive memories involving Ino that she got to see in Shikamaru's head, Ino feels like family to Nill.

Unfortunately though, Nill doesn't quite know how to relate to Ino. Ino talks about boys, and fashion, and though Nill is pretty fond of her wardrobe she doesn't really know how to handle either of these topics when it comes to other girls. It's especially awkward because LOL TRAUMA, so she doesn't really know how to handle Ino talking about boys... a lot...

Also she thinks Ino basically has the worst taste in guys. Not even metaphorically, just the worst taste. She's seen one conversation between Ino and Sasuke and for the most part Sasuke was a threatening jackass (yeah she stalked that, sorry), and yet Ino still likes him. 8( don't make her shank the guy because he tried to kill you, Ino.

Aww, Nill, her taste isn't that bad, okay, Sai isn't that much of a bad guy. Sasuke though... yeah, even she knows that at this point. But she'll try to reform him just for the sake of their past together, and because Konoha nin are rare around here. (Even if the jerk won't freaking accept that!!)

♥ Friends for life.

hey there

Nill really admired Allen the first time he was here. He helped her a lot, despite them not actually talking very often (they literally only met in person twice), but he was always a strong person, even when he was probably going through a lot. Because of this, despite them not talking frequently, Nill thought of Allen as a very good friend. Nill generally loves people (platonically) pretty easily, and she definitely loved Allen.

Therein lies the problems she's kind of having with the current Allen. She thought it would be for the best if she pretended she hadn't known him before; that somehow he'd be safer that way, and things wouldn't be too awkward between them. She didn't want him to think that she was trying to make him into a person that he wasn't, so she tried to avoid the situation entirely. This didn't really work out, though!! Because she's gotten way too 'talkative' lately and said some really obvious things that she definitely should not have said.

And Allen scared the hell out of her. For all the awful things that've happened to her and that she's seen, she's never literally been covered in the blood of someone she cares about, and she's never had to try to keep someone from bleeding out. That whole night had her all over the place, because it's been so long since it felt like she did something right, or could actually do something, and Allen made her feel that way. But he also made her realize that she's definitely been projecting on him too much, and she hates that she's been doing that, while also wishing that they were actually closer and that she could accomplish that somehow. She'd be pretty disheartened if she knew that Allen didn't really think of her as a friend.

She's also worried about that older wound of his - mostly if he's really okay, and what on earth was happening in his own world that he got run through by someone? Seriously, Allen, what the shit. She doesn't really know how to ask about any of that though, because she's pretending not to be a full-time telepath. Whoops.

First and foremost, when it comes to Jesse, Nill is sorry. She's sorry that she's trying to manipulate him, sorry that he thinks she's completely innocent, and sorry that he'll probably be nothing but hurt if he ever figures this out. Jesse, despite doing some awful things, is a kind person, and he's honestly the last sort of person that Nill would want to use. She also thinks very well of him for actually being in rehab, for making Lisbeth happy, and for honestly trying to help Newcomers, if not make them a bit happier when things here go to shit.

However, he's the only one that can sell powers. He's the only one that can make her stronger if all else fails without basically selling her soul. And so, Nill isn't sorry enough to stop. It's exactly because he's a kind person that she can manipulate him, and let him think well of her, and it's exactly what she's betting on if something gets dangerous. He isn't a killer, and he won't have the heart to come after her if there ever comes a day that their relationship would sour to that extent. He won't come after anyone she cares about, because she doesn't think he'd have it in him to do something like that either.

Nill is done with laying down and letting the world (multiple worlds, even) walk all over her, and Jesse is giving her the power to break those legs before they can get close to her. He's given her a lot of power, but she's still not sure she's strong enough yet, so she won't stop using Jesse for a long while.

Better him think her a victim that needs what he's offering than the person she's really turned into.

WEAKNESS FOR BLONDES

HAHAHA JOE. Wow, Nill really likes Joe, actually! She wasn't really oblivious to why he was asking her out way back when, but she thought it was kind of endearing, so why not? While she has some weird standards and thoughts regarding relationships and other such things, as far as she can tell dates are purely for fun. Too bad the date kind of turned into a horrible awkward mess (which I found totally hilarious).

The date has actually come up recently with Ino asking Nill about her history with boys, and Joe has far been remembered as The Only Boy To Ask Nill Out Ever. Despite them not talking much for a long time, he also caught on to something way back when that literally no one else has since, and it's that Nill ends up thinking others' thoughts if she's around them too much. She kind of blew him off at the time, but that was completely accurate.

Nill still thinks about him from time to time in that she wonders if he's doing okay and if he's asking anymore girls out on silly dates with silly excuses - but they've also had some of their disagreements in the past (primarily about Shikamaru) so she's not sure she wants him to find out that Shika's gone now. She doesn't want to hear someone reacting positively to him not being around anymore.

Nill honestly and genuinely loves Uryuu, and that's only in part from hanging around Shikamaru too much back in the day. It's platonic love, but it's still love. Nill mostly tries to judge people based on her they treat her, but when it comes to Uryuu she almost entirely judges him based on how he treated Shikamaru... and he made Shikamaru happy, which is something (she thinks) that she could never accomplish. Uryuu has Nill's unwavering loyalty, because he was good for Shikamaru and he loved Shikamaru and he made his life so much better just by being there. In general Nill likes Uryuu a lot, but she'd take several bullets for him just because he was the person that was there for Shikamaru.

She also thinks that Uryuu is a lot braver than her, whether he necessarily meant to or not, because Nill tried to pull the trigger and put Shika out of his misery and she couldn't do it, but he could. Uryuu could turn the whole world against him, but Nill will never turn away from him, because she feels like she owes him more than she can ever repay, even though he never really did anything for her to warrant repayment.

8c

Wow, okay, so long story short; Nill absolutely hated Sasuke the last time he was around. He pretty much had no will to live, and she found that so completely detestable at the time, because she worked very hard to stay alive. He actually got her to curse, and that's literally only happened twice in the almost four years I've been playing Nill.

HOWEVER, shit happened, and she found herself regretting that a little because she kind of understood his misery and didn't really want to be alive very much herself. She thought she'd be able to relate to Sasuke if he ever showed up again, but nope, she still can't bring herself to like him very much, and he's still an annoying kid. But Naruto did everything for Sasuke, would do everything for Sasuke, and because of that she feels kind of obligated to try to look after him in somehow. She doesn't like him enough to make a huge effort on this, but even a little bit is better than nothing, she figures.

She's also not sure how to take the news that Itachi is dead. She tries to think it's for the best, and that hopefully he won't come back, but it's still a hard thing to swallow.

I'm kind of tempted to go back and read all of the logs from all of my castmates, but that could take a while.

I like the imbalance of knowledge between the two of them, though.

Alas, even if you did I'm not sure how much they'd tell you, Nill is an import from another game.

my computer works now so I can get back to that log but in the meantime hi

Glad to hear it's working again!

Nill, surprisingly, actually likes Claire a lot. He's absolutely nutty, but he talks constantly and can communicate with Nill fairly well without her using her NV or her telepathy, which has honestly been extremely rare in Nill's life. She knows a little about how he views the world from stuff she's picked up from living in the boarding house together, and though Nill doesn't know a great deal she knows Claire is really kind of strange, but she doesn't mind that so much.

But boy is he a weird one. A tank on the lawn, Claire, really. Nill completely thought he got that illegally somehow, she has no idea how he gets away with stuff like that, but she assumes it must be the same way that he's a generally happy person despite committing some pretty horrific murders! She's aware that under normal circumstances he'd probably be the sort of person that you shouldn't get involved with, but she figures if he hasn't been inclined to kill her for some odd reason yet, he probably won't in the future (which she's counting on more than just a little).

On a slightly unrelated note to their new found mutual profession, though, Nill thinks Chane has way better taste in men than Ino does. That isn't to say she's interested in him herself, but when she thinks about Ino and her just liking the worst guys ever she tends to think about Chane and Claire and wonders why Ino doesn't try for a relationship like that instead.

Yeah, unhealthy is a really good way to put their relationship. I'm not sure if there's any good way to describe it, honestly, because unhealthy just fits it to a T. Yosuke started trying to worm his way into the various holes in Nill's heart from the get go, and despite her doing her damnedest not to compare him to the last Yosuke (and actually succeeding to some extent), he ended up worming himself into a pretty big place there, and try as she might she really can't get him out. This could go really horribly, because if he ever made another move on her she might... let him... and it wouldn't be because she'd want him to hkjhfkjh PLEASE DON'T DO IT AGAIN FOR AWHILE YOSUKE s-sob.

That said, Nill has no idea that Yosuke cares about her that much. She does, to an extent, but she thinks it's mostly... sexually-inclined. That's also what she thinks most people mean when they talk about love, so when she talks about loving someone and she talks about someone else loving someone, it means two completely different things in her head. Nill knows he loves her, she just thinks it's because he wants to bang her. Not that he doesn't have good intent too but uh... yeah... gkdjahkj

Nill, on the other hand, loves Yosuke a great deal. Enough so that she slapped Shika for what he'd done to him once, and she threatened the whole damn island for Shika back in the day. Shika may have been her world, but damn, the girl basically smacked the world for Yosuke. :| She's also completely aware that she loves him! Just... again, she doesn't think it means the same thing as what he feels for her.

She's also kind of devastated that despite trying for nearly a year (I think it's a year now, at least?) she couldn't keep him happy. The universe is dragging him down in horrible ways, and no matter how hard she tried to keep him happy and safe and away from the shit that has basically infected her life and almost everyone else's, she couldn't. SHE HAS A LOT OF ISSUES ABOUT THAT. Sorry Yosuke. 8(

But Yosuke has done pretty much everything for her, and that hasn't gone unnoticed. Nill also isn't oblivious to how much she means to Yosuke. She actually had a plan back in the day for what she would do if Shika left, and she knows she can't now, because it would pretty much destroy Yosuke. (She's sliiightly bitter about that, but it's not at him so much as it is life/the universe in general.)

Yosuke painted her the sky. He looked after her when Shika disappeared the first time, and he gave her back her smile after he came back. He made life okay for as long as he could, and Nill was ready to turn this whole place over when the hunters got Yosuke. She would've stayed in his head until they killed him if it had gotten that far, and she would've found his body and brought him... somewhere, or whatever, until he came back. She'd do pretty much anything for the kid.

So... yeah. TL;DR (and super all over the place, sorry), Nill loves you, you idiot. :|

TL;DR relationship/CR meme

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